end

So it's end . My mind is clear. It has no doubts.

Time

why I suck so much now. Need to fix this somehow.  I think of my mom. She doesn't enjoy being here in sd. Need to fix these issues. I can't leave my mom . I just suck so much . I suck.


I just realised I need to have friend , female...... I m going to fix this somehow.  Whatever my thought was earlier didn't work. U just can't work/study or even be happy without another person . Loneliness is not good. Need to get this right. Like any critical Samsung bug I m going to fix this . I just can't execute on my career plans without a partner, my mental capacity is reaching its max threshold. Now it may sound offensive or bad to other people, I don't care about this. I need to get this fixed to get ahead in life . I need to be with a friend . 

Break

For the next few days just want to relax and think about things to be done in 2017.  At present I feel a bit tense from inside . Not sure what the reason is. But there is some tension in my mind. How to get rid of this.?
I know myself , I can be unstoppable when in flow..... may be I need to have some social interactions make friends etc. to kill the tension.


I think I have the answer , I need a close friend or somebody to get going. I'll try to get one.

Study

Should I quit my job and quench my thirst of studying something which I am interested in. Who to ask if this s the right step to take. 

confused

I m totally confused.... and feel lost. Not sure which way to go. I m not in good shape at all. There is hint of depression or loneliness too. It feels like I'm in a trap.  I m also confused abt which way to go in career. I have already done tech stuff in last 9 years. Now not sure if I should be doing something else MBA . Sometimes coding seems boring to me. Not as exciting as it used to be 3 yrs back. What to do. How to deal with this situation. ........  these days I spend hours after hours on YouTube. This is not healthy. But it's kind of seems like only thing to do. I need a break ............